Check out the great comments from the original Invisible Femmes article that inspired this book!
"Funny, my gf and I have had many conversations about my invisibility in the community. Then last week we’re at a gay bar, with 8 other lesbians for a birthday. There are very clearly, 5 lesbian couples hanging out. Someone notices a gay-boy friend and he comes over and we’re chatting about a group of straight girls there for a bachelorette party. He says (in front of my girlfriend), “So why are you here, I can tell you’re not a lesbian.” My girlfriend upset, but I guess being so used to it I wasn’t that affected. But it was nice (maybe not the right word) for her to see first-hand what it’s like."
Jenz
"After I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 yrs, it was hard finding a girlfriend. Everywhere I went, I was asked the same question. “why am I here?” and “I believe you are in the wrong place.” WRONG! Well, I’m a carpet muncher that wears heels, does her hair, and does her makeup on a daily basis!! Worse part, my recent ex is a total femme just like me, when we would go out and made a loving gesture to one another, it became a show. I guess some people find it hard seeing 2 femmes together!"
Jessica
"I’m from London in the UK, and not only is the lesbian community very dispersed and weak, it has the same problem regarding femmes.. I’m a proper femme but can also be a bit chilled and casual when I feel like it.. I find it upsetting that I’m always seen as ‘the straight friend’ with the ‘gay best friend’ whenever I go out (especially with my gay guy friends at bars/clubs).."
A_Rachel
"Oh my god, this. I’m not even super femme, I tend to wear jeans more than anything else, but I will dress up a bit to go out to the bar cause I like to look pretty sometimes. I have never been hit on by a woman in my life and I’m 26. I go to GSA meetings, preach gay rights and talk about sexism issues all the time. And yet all of the lesbians I know (even the femme ones!) don’t register that I’m into the ladies. I get reactions of surprise every time I mention it.
And what’s worse, I’m too shy to try to approach them. I’ve never had a girlfriend."
Julez
Jenz
"After I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 yrs, it was hard finding a girlfriend. Everywhere I went, I was asked the same question. “why am I here?” and “I believe you are in the wrong place.” WRONG! Well, I’m a carpet muncher that wears heels, does her hair, and does her makeup on a daily basis!! Worse part, my recent ex is a total femme just like me, when we would go out and made a loving gesture to one another, it became a show. I guess some people find it hard seeing 2 femmes together!"
Jessica
"I’m from London in the UK, and not only is the lesbian community very dispersed and weak, it has the same problem regarding femmes.. I’m a proper femme but can also be a bit chilled and casual when I feel like it.. I find it upsetting that I’m always seen as ‘the straight friend’ with the ‘gay best friend’ whenever I go out (especially with my gay guy friends at bars/clubs).."
A_Rachel
"Oh my god, this. I’m not even super femme, I tend to wear jeans more than anything else, but I will dress up a bit to go out to the bar cause I like to look pretty sometimes. I have never been hit on by a woman in my life and I’m 26. I go to GSA meetings, preach gay rights and talk about sexism issues all the time. And yet all of the lesbians I know (even the femme ones!) don’t register that I’m into the ladies. I get reactions of surprise every time I mention it.
And what’s worse, I’m too shy to try to approach them. I’ve never had a girlfriend."
Julez